How a Parent’s Limiting Beliefs Can Fuel Back-to-School Anxiety.

The back-to-school season often feels like a race to get organized and prepared. We buy the new backpacks, fresh school supplies, and shiny new shoes. But what happens after the first day? The initial excitement gives way to new routines, packed schedules, and the unexpected challenges that always seem to pop up.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the September chaos and wondering how to get a handle on it all, you’re not alone. The real challenge isn’t just getting ready—it’s staying grounded once the school year is in full swing.

On the outside, it looks like a normal, busy back-to-school season. But on the inside, you might be feeling a familiar, low hum of anxiety. You may feel that something is off, that you’re overwhelmed, or that you’re just going through the motions.

You think you “should” be in control, feeling happy and excited for your kids. But you can’t shake that feeling of foreboding deep within. You see other parents seemingly skipping their way through the process, enjoying getting back into their routine after the chaos of the summer holidays. But for you, it feels like pressure is building, triggering anxiety and self-doubt.

The Subconscious Root of Your Feelings

So much of this anxiety isn’t about the new routine or the school supplies; it’s often about what’s happening subconsciously. It’s old programs that run in the background.

For example, maybe your own negative school experiences replay for you and you fear for your child’s experience, or you are a perfectionist, feeling the pressure to get things “just right.” The lens you’re viewing this situation through can be full of negative distortion. After all, your child is an extension of yourself. You are highly sensitive to their (possible negative) experiences. You may be forecasting all sorts of difficulties ahead and how your child will feel. Perhaps, at a deeper level, you unknowingly carry a belief that ‘you don’t belong,’ and you are projecting the same for your child. It’s no wonder you’re not feeling great about the situation!

As an RTT practitioner, I’ve seen countless times that the root cause of this kind of worry and overwhelm isn’t the external event of starting a new school term at all. That is just the catalyst that awakens the deeper subconscious programs that are running the show.

You see, your mind’s sole purpose is to keep you alive. Any “perceived” threat triggers a physical response via the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, or freeze), releasing stress hormones that go whirling around your body, as well as heightened emotions. These responses are all signals, alerting you to take action. But the word “perceived” is important here, because the fact is, your mind doesn’t actually know right from wrong or good from bad. It learns what to fear and avoid from your individual experiences.

This is why different people can be in exactly the same situation and feel impacted differently. Their frames of reference are different due to their own individual life experiences, often from early childhood. Some of these experiences (or lessons) serve us well. You learn that fire is hot as a child through experience and now your mind runs the automatic program to avoid getting too close. Your mind’s job is to find a program that keeps you safe in the moment and sticks to it. It loves what is familiar, and fears the unfamiliar. A lot of what we learn about ourselves and the world around us become very fixed beliefs.

What Is a Belief?

A belief is an acceptance that something is true or exists, often without absolute proof or certainty. It’s a conviction that can be based on personal experience, faith, trust, cultural upbringing, or information received from others. These beliefs we form are often wrong, and are born from simply being exposed to other people’s thoughts about themselves, us, other people, and the world in general.

We are conditioned by our parents, other influential adults, and peers. We learn to behave in a way that keeps us “safe.” We learn what makes us feel safe, loved, significant, accepted, worthy, or good enough. We also learn what to fear, like disapproval, failure, and isolation. Those fears trigger the same sympathetic nervous system in a bid to survive.

If these experiences give you negative, limiting, erroneous beliefs about your worth and abilities, they have the power to make life very difficult because you are literally being held back by your core programs. This is where self-esteem, self-confidence, resilience, and courage can be built or stunted. And we grow up not realizing we hold the power within ourselves to choose how we want to be. But these perceived limitations are further strengthened by repeated negative thoughts we have about ourselves and words we say to ourselves. It is not conscious choice; it’s a deep-seated program of limiting beliefs, thoughts, and actions that leave us feeling overwhelmed and in fear.

The discomfort and overwhelm around the back-to-school thing may well be due to deep-seated fears about your ability to cope, feelings of guilt, or the pressure of fulfilling your role as a “perfect” parent. These programs continue to control how you feel, often leading to feelings of sadness, exhaustion, and powerlessness.

A Simple Tip that Starts to Uncover the Root Cause

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can start to interrupt and reframe these negative thoughts and gain new, positive, empowering beliefs about yourself.

Repeat this pattern for at least 3 breaths, and when you’re feeling calmer and clearer, just ask yourself this question:

“What is the deepest, truest reason I’m worried about this new school term?”

Don’t judge the answer. Write down whatever comes to mind. It might not be about your child at all. It might be about feeling a loss of control, a fear of being left behind, or a belief that you need to be a “perfect” parent. Gaining insight into your deeper thoughts and feelings is the first step toward freedom. Understanding what is lying beneath helps you detach from the emotion and then start challenging negativity and building new, empowering thoughts.

My Gift to You…

If you’re ready to take that first step of looking even deeper, I’ve created a free resource for you. Download my Free “Back-to-School Mindset Guide.” It contains a simple yet powerful tool to help you consciously identify those deeper limiting beliefs and learn the art of reframing them. This guide is a starting point on the journey to a more peaceful and in-control mindset.